Wal-Mart

Recently, while shopping at Wal-Mart, which is where I go EVERDAY to meet all my friends, :-) I heard a lady, in the customer service/return line, talking--no yelling--at her grandchild, which, no doubt to her, was her way of disciplining him. She said something like this:

"ETHAN!" "Ethan, come here!"
"Ethan...ETHAN...ETHAN COME HERE!"
"What are you doing?"
"Get back in this line!!!"
"Ethan, I'm going to get you if you don't get back in this line."
"Don't you act like that."
"If you don't come here, I'm gonna get you."
"Are you listening to me?"
"Get yourself over here."
"Leave that alone and get over here, right NOW!"

And on and on she went.

I knew by now that the little boy's name was obviously ETHAN and that he probably thought his last name was DON'T. I could understand why, if he did. So, to stop the scene, give the grandmother a break and get into Ethan's little brain a bit, I started my own conversation with him. "Is your name Ethan?" I asked. And the grandmother said, "You must have heard me call his name when I was yelling at him." I looked at Ethan, again, and asked him the same question. "Is your name Ethan?" "Yeah" he said. "Well hi, Ethan. My name's Teresa." And then I asked him THE question I wanted him to answer, because I wanted to know HIS answer to it. It was just a very simple question that, I knew, would reveal to me a very telling answer. And it did.

"Ethan, are you a good boy?" I asked. "I bet you're a good boy!" I said. And Ethan dropped his head and said ,"no....I'm not." "I'm not a good boy." "Are you sure you're not a good boy?" I asked. And he said, "No, I guess I'm not."

Her name was Madison and I saw her today at Wal-Mart in the express line, buying groceries with her mom. Her mom only had a few items to buy, but it was obvious that Madison wanted more. She asked her mom if she could buy gum and her mother said "no." She asked her mom if she could buy Doritos, and her mother said, "no." She asked for something else and her mother said, "no." Whether Madison got it or not, I knew that whatever Madison asked for, she was not going to get.

Obviously, there was some tension in this mom and child's relationship, which I thought might have come from her being a single mom and not having enough money to make ends meet, much less spend money on snacks. But I think I would have felt tension in this mom, whether Madison was there or not. She was probably doing the best she could under the circumstances, which were circumstances I could only assume. As I was getting some change out of my wallet to pay for my cashews, milk, and tea, I wanted to somehow give Madison the money she wanted, without making her mom feel bad, so I asked Madison this question. "Madison, how much are you worth?" And Madison dropped her head, looked at her mom and said nothing. "How much do YOU think you're worth, Madison? I asked again. And her mother answered, somewhat under her breath, "She may be worth something, sometime." I looked at Madison and handed her the two quarters I had gotten out of my wallet, hoping her mom would let her keep them. And she did. I looked back to her on my way out and said, "Madison, don't ever let anyone tell you you're not worth anything, because now you're worth at least 50 cents."

As I turned to leave and was walking toward my car, I thought about how similar my experiences had been with both Ethan and Madison. Ethan had told me he was not a good boy and Madison had dropped her head, as though she was telling me she was worth nothing...or that she had been told she was worth nothing...at least part of the time. I wondered how long it had been since they had been told, "I love you" or how long it had been since they had heard the words, "You're a good boy, Ethan." and "I love you this much, Madison." I wanted to let them know from me, a stranger, what they should have been told by the people who should have loved them the most.

This is what I want to say to Ethan's grandmother and Madison's mom.

Children are a gift from God. Don't ever diminish their value.
Children are fragile. Discipline them, but don't ever kill their spirit.
Children listen, whether you think they do or not.
Children will live up to your expectations. If you tell them they're bad, they will be bad. If you tell them they're worthless, they will feel worthless.
Children are calling out for your attention, not for what's in a bag of Doritos.

This is what I want to say to you and me.

Never miss an opportunity to love a child. He needs to know he's loveable.
Never miss an opportunity to build up a child. It will lift his spirit.
Never miss an opportunity to give to a child. He needs to feel valuable.
Never miss an opportunity to be Christ to a child. You may introduce him to the Father he's never known.
Never miss an opportunity to help a child. He needs to feel worthy.
Never miss an opportunity to listen to a child. He needs to be heard.
Never miss an opportunity to hug a child. He needs to be touched.
Never miss an opportunity to look at a child. He needs to be acknowledged.
Never miss an opportunity to speak to a child. He needs encouragement.
Never miss an opportunity to be a child...for as such is the kingdom of Heaven.

I know there must be other Ethans and Madisons who are out there, that we pass everyday, who need to be hugged and loved and praised and made to feel valuable. Open your eyes and watch for them. They may even be living in your own house. Love them. Hug them. Tell them they're special. Make sure they know they are VALUABLE... even if they're standing in the RETURN line and that you have TIME for them... even if it's in the EXPRESS line... at Wal-Mart.