Struggling moms
Please don't think that because I'm writing a post about struggling as a mom I think I have all the answers; you and I both know I don't. But having been given permission by Melanie Smalling who wrote a blog entitled Struggling recently, I want to share with you some of my own personal experiences and "wisdom" that I have received over the last 27 years, that has helped me in my own struggles with raising children and with just what God expected of me when I was your age. So it is mostly with my heart, instead of my head that I write this entry about struggling.
First of all, in paragraph two, Melanie starts with the words, "I'm so tired. So is everyone else. I feel like God has been giving and giving and giving to me for so long through so many people and I should be so full of Him that it would be evident in my life. And then I look at my life and it's kind of the opposite. I still feel like I'm taking and taking and taking."
When I was probably in my late 30's or early 40's I ran into a lady called Doris Black, who was and is the only member of the church of Christ who speaks worldwide, that I have ever known. She has now quit because of health reasons, but she made an enormous impression on me. In one of her seminars, she gave a lesson called The Four Seasons of a Woman's Life. I bought this lesson on cassette tape and because I needed to hear what she said so badly, I practically transcribed it, and went back to it, time and time again, and am doing so even now, twenty-five years later. Anyway, these, in a nutshell, are the major points of her lesson.
The Four Seasons of a Woman's Life
1) Beginnings - season of planting
Accept the unchangeable things about yourself and develop a positive self-image.
These are the four unchangeable things you have to accept:
1) natural parents 2) natural appearance 3) natural ability 4) natural social, ethnic, racial background.
2) Blossoming - season of promise - ages 15-25
You get a glimpse of your potential.
3) Nurturing - season of maturing - ages 25-45
You experience the Mary/Martha Syndrome
4) Harvest - season of reaping - ages 45-death
You reap what you've sown, planted and nurtured.
It is in the season of Nurturing that most of you, young moms, find yourself right now. It is in this season that you wear many hats. As a matter of fact, it is in this season you will wear the most hats you will ever wear in your life. You will be wife, mom, lover, nurse, counselor, maid, teacher, taxi driver, cook, secular worker, Bible teacher/church worker, friend, daughter-in-law, daughter, mother-in-law, aunt, grandmother, sister, just to name the ones that come right off the top of my head; I'm sure you could add more. It is in this season of Nurturing, as Melanie wrote, that you are tired, but, I believe anyone would tell you, you deserve to be tired. There, I said it! You deserve to be tired! You fall into bed at night, or sometime during the night, maybe the day too, but you fall into bed at night and your husband who mainly wears the hats "daddy and worker" comes to bed and wants sex, yes sex, and you think, how on earth can I have sex when I've worn so many hats all day. "Can't you tell I'm tired? And don't you know my head hurts from wearing so many hats all day long?" And this is the conversation heard in most households when mom and dad, but particularly mom, are in the season of Nurturing.
In his book Too Hurried to Love, Charles Bradshaw gives the best illustration about life and priorities I have ever read. He says that every person has an egg basket with X amount of eggs in his/her basket. Each person, responsibility or obligation is represented by one egg. In teaching my classes this lesson, I have literally made them write down all their different responsibilities and the names of all their children and people in their life who depend on them for something, daily. With each egg I put the name of each child, husband, person, responsibility, obligation, etc. that each of them has....all the hats they have to wear, and I ask them to put them in the basket. Some women end up with 20 eggs, but most have around 12 or less. As they start putting eggs in their basket, I keep handing them more and more and more and they start noticing that some of the eggs are falling out, which is what happens when we take on too many responsibilities. I then ask them where God is in their basket. Some, if not all of them, have left God completely out of their baskets. I have them start over with God's egg being the first one they put in. Then I make them put in only the eggs they think they can handle. When asked, "How many eggs does your husband have?" They usually answer one, his job. And, I regret, many of them are right.
One time, I had a lady in class who had a handicapped child who needed constant supervision. She had to do everything for him plus work at a part-time job, as well. She strove to have a close relationship with God, and a loving relationship with her husband while taking on the demands of a very needy child. She told me, that her basket would always and forever only have two or three eggs in it, even though she wished she could handle more. I admire this woman because she knew how much she could handle and was not bitter because of her situation.
If we do not, first of all, have a relationship with God, as Christian moms, all of our other relationships are going to suffer, as is represented by some of our eggs falling out and breaking when more were being added. It takes having a relationship with God in order to know how many eggs we can put in our basket. When I was younger and had small children at home, I thought I could handle lots of eggs and as a result, had a panic attack which landed me in Coronary Care at Greenview Hospital for two days. I was sent home by Dr. Burt with 5 mg. of valium and the instructions to learn how to say "no." God got my attention, but I didn't learn to say no. So, I had another panic attack and migraines and on and on the physical problems came. After going to counseling, psychologists and more doctors, this is the quote I needed to hear that I will always remember:
"God made our bodies in such a way, as to deal with things until our minds are ready."
So when your body tells you you need sleep, sleep. When your body tells you it has a headache listen. When your body tells you it's hungry, eat. But, when your body is constantly in pain, it may be trying to tell you something that your mind is not comprehending. Pain is not the problem. Pain is only the symptom of another problem. The fact that I was biting off more than I could chew, was the real problem, but my mind would not listen.
It is in our minds that our lives are transformed. Rom. 12:2 "Therefore be ye transformed by the renewing of your minds...." which is the reason we have to be in scripture. Talking to our friends about God or reading books about God or even going to worship God on Sunday mornings does not take the place of being with God in His word, in prayer and in meditation. It is only when we come in the most direct contact with God, (not through another individual) that our lives are fulfilled, our minds have peace and our "eggs" are not broken. That is why you, fellow moms, cannot minimize the times you spend with God at home developing your relationship with Him and the times you spend with your children instilling those lessons you've learned from Him, into them.
In order to develop a relationship with God through Bible study, prayer, and meditation you have to find the silence in your life. I know that moms with small children think this is virtually impossible, and even more impossible with older children, but even then, it's not. I've given this assignment to my ladies Bible classes more times than once, and the question is always asked, "What do you mean by finding the silence?" and this is what I tell them. Find the time in your day, when there is no noise, no TV, not any type of interaction with another person, electrical device, etc., except maybe a lamp from electricity. With some people, they use their car, with others the shower, etc. But, this is, really, not where I think your silence should come from. Find a calendar that has every hour of every day listed, or every half hour, and write down everything you're obligated to do during those 24 hours. Then assess what you've just written and come up with a time that you can spend with just you and God. I know of one young mom of three, who got up every morning at 5:30 to read her Bible and pray so she could face the busy day that lay ahead of her. One college student told me she gave up one hour-long soap opera so she could read and pray as well. If you still believe this is just not possible, I ask you to re-assess your priorities. A priority is a value I give something. I deem brushing my teeth as a top priority. That's why I do it every day. Those things I do with regularity, show my priorities. What does it say about my relationship with God if I have to pencil Him into my day? Psalm 119:18 says: "Open my eyes, that I may see wonderful things in your law," and I believe if this is your prayer, He will answer it. I cannot tell you the benefit you will get if you do this.
There are many good Bible studies out there. Everyone knows about Beth Moore and I highly recommend doing one of her studies. She is very in-depth and practically a scholar of the Bible. There are many good books written about the Bible, but I still believe the best thing you can read is the Bible itself. Even if it's a Psalm a day, that's enough to sustain you for a day and Satan will do anything to even stop you from that, but do it anyway. I constantly tell my ladies Bible classes to let God speak to them sometime during the day, even if it's just a morsel, and speak to Him, sometime during the day, even if it's just a brief message. You have to communicate for there to be a relationship...one in which you can consider Him to be your friend...a friend who will never leave nor forsake you...when others will.
Meditation comes from thinking about a verse long enough that it speaks to you. When you read the scripture something will speak to you and prick your heart. That is what you need to meditate on. For instance, I meditated on the verse: "To all perfection, I see a limit. But your commands are boundless" literally, over a period of years before I realized what it meant. It literally took years for the Spirit to reveal to me what it meant. But, when He did, I knew beyond a doubt that I knew. And I did the same thing with "Come unto me all you that labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest." And on and on the meditations have come. Sometimes it's only on a word or thought, but there's usually something brewing in my mind, on which I'm meditating.
How can I do this with small children or babies? With babies, it's easy, because they nap so much. Do it then. With children it's different. When David and Laura were very young toddlers on up to when they entered High School, I did the most of my Bible study. I started teaching Ladies Bible classes when I was pregnant with Laura and had a wonderful mother-in-law who would watch the children for me, even while they lived in Sturgis, in order for me to study. It was a very unique opportunity for me, and I believe, was orchestrated by God, because He knew what lay ahead of me. I had an insatiable appetite for scripture and learning about God, not even knowing, at the time, that He was leading me in the direction that He would have me go, which is a prayer I prayed DAILY so I could recognize how He was working in my life. I still pray it and recommend highly that you pray it every day as well. "God give me opportunities that lead me in the direction that you would have me go." He will start to show Himself in your life by repetition... by people, instances, circumstances, observations, scripture, convictions, etc. that recur in your life, to let you know that He is there and He is speaking to you. AND HE WILL LEAD YOU IN THE DIRECTION HE WOULD HAVE YOU GO.
There is a difference between being called and being driven. A called person listens to the voice of God, while a driven person listens to the voice of the guilt of the inner man. When I was younger I was driven because I was constantly listening to the voice of guilt. I constantly felt guilty if I was not doing something for God. I felt guilty if I ever said "no" to anyone about anything, which is why I had the panic attacks and Dr. Burt sent me home with the instructions to learn how to say "no." What did I do that helped me learn to say "no?" I became a called individual. I learned to listen to God's voice instead of men. I had my quiet time and learned to recognize God's voice over everyone else's. I learned what pleased Him and, asked myself, "Does this fit into my egg basket?" If it did, I did it. If it didn't, I didn't. I also ran everything by Phil to see if he thought it was something I could do and if he said "no" I wouldn't do it.
What do I think God thinks are the most important things you can do during the Nurturing stage of your life, as a young mom? Titus 2:4-5 tells the older women to train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God. I realize that "loving your husbands and children" does not sound too glamorous in today's society, but society today has it all wrong and our world is suffering because of it. When I tell people that I've been married 33 years, they almost applaud because so few couples make it...even in the church. The greatest gift that a man and wife can give their children is to see them loving each other. When Laura was in fourth grade there were less than 5 kids whose parents were not divorced. Imagine the baggage that was in that room. To allow a child to go into adulthood without baggage is the most valuable gift a parent can give their children. When a child's parents divorce, not only does the child have to deal with it as a child, but as an adult, later, who has children of their own and on and on the cycle goes. Consider the account of the minister who has an affair and ends up divorced. What usually happens next is a chain of events that possibly could have been avoided by momma and daddy loving each other and the children. It just sounds too simple to be important. But it's so important that Paul told Titus it was the most important thing a young woman could do.
The next most important thing Paul tells Titus about young women is to love their children, which, I believe, most young moms know how to do, to a fault. Mom's love for her children does not need to be greater than mom's love for her husband. Even more, your identity is not __________'s mom, or ___________'s wife, but God's woman. That is why I say with much conviction that your relationship with God is most important because it's because of Him that you feel valuable. I had to realize that my self-worth did not come from my children or my husband. It came from God. When I know who I am and whose I am, my identity will not be wrapped up in what my husband does for a living, what my children look like, what my children wear, what other people think, what clubs I'm a member of, what church I attend, etc. etc. Those things reflect my character. They do not determine it. Do not let your children determine what you do. Do not let your household revolve around them. Be God's woman. Put Him first and He will tell you what to do.
Does God always expect me to do more? No. It's not about doing. It's about being. We are human beings, not human doings. This is one of my favorite quotes of all times: "If Satan cannot stop you by making you immoral, he can certainly slow you down by making you busy." The world is so performance-based that it carries over into the church and we are saved by grace, not by works, lest any of us could boast. Yes, we have to be some part of the body, but we don't have to be more than what God has called us to be. He has called us to be salt and light and leaven...and all three of these things can be found in the home. What can be more basic than salt and, back then, what could have been more basic than leaven and doesn't everybody need light? When David was a little boy, I remember saying in one of my Bible classes that I would love to be able to lead singing or preach, but that even though I couldn't, God had given me a son who, one day, could. Today David is one of our best song leaders, and I know that God knew that I knew that when David was a baby. Every time I see him lead at age 27, I am reminded of what I desired many years ago.
From their births, I have prayed that David would be a leader and Laura would be a submissive wife. It's a very simple prayer that means nothing at all to the world but means the world to me and them. I believe, as a Christian mom, I have the world in my hands...the world of death and destruction or the world of life and peace. I have chosen to give my children the world of life and peace. It starts with my own relationship with God, continues in my relationship with Phil, flows through us into our children, who, we pray, will develop their own relationship with God, which makes the cycle continue.
I pray that I have spoken from my heart, words that have pricked yours. I believe that we as struggling moms are struggling more than God would have us struggle because we are listening to the world, who wants us to do more, which leaves us too exhausted to be just who God calls us to be...wives and moms (women of God) and nothing more. If you find yourself at home with children all around, look no further for fields that are ripe unto harvest. Don't look elsewhere to be of service to God. You have within your reach the future of tomorrow. Be to them salt, and light and leaven...and don't ever worry that that's not enough.
First of all, in paragraph two, Melanie starts with the words, "I'm so tired. So is everyone else. I feel like God has been giving and giving and giving to me for so long through so many people and I should be so full of Him that it would be evident in my life. And then I look at my life and it's kind of the opposite. I still feel like I'm taking and taking and taking."
When I was probably in my late 30's or early 40's I ran into a lady called Doris Black, who was and is the only member of the church of Christ who speaks worldwide, that I have ever known. She has now quit because of health reasons, but she made an enormous impression on me. In one of her seminars, she gave a lesson called The Four Seasons of a Woman's Life. I bought this lesson on cassette tape and because I needed to hear what she said so badly, I practically transcribed it, and went back to it, time and time again, and am doing so even now, twenty-five years later. Anyway, these, in a nutshell, are the major points of her lesson.
The Four Seasons of a Woman's Life
1) Beginnings - season of planting
Accept the unchangeable things about yourself and develop a positive self-image.
These are the four unchangeable things you have to accept:
1) natural parents 2) natural appearance 3) natural ability 4) natural social, ethnic, racial background.
2) Blossoming - season of promise - ages 15-25
You get a glimpse of your potential.
3) Nurturing - season of maturing - ages 25-45
You experience the Mary/Martha Syndrome
4) Harvest - season of reaping - ages 45-death
You reap what you've sown, planted and nurtured.
It is in the season of Nurturing that most of you, young moms, find yourself right now. It is in this season that you wear many hats. As a matter of fact, it is in this season you will wear the most hats you will ever wear in your life. You will be wife, mom, lover, nurse, counselor, maid, teacher, taxi driver, cook, secular worker, Bible teacher/church worker, friend, daughter-in-law, daughter, mother-in-law, aunt, grandmother, sister, just to name the ones that come right off the top of my head; I'm sure you could add more. It is in this season of Nurturing, as Melanie wrote, that you are tired, but, I believe anyone would tell you, you deserve to be tired. There, I said it! You deserve to be tired! You fall into bed at night, or sometime during the night, maybe the day too, but you fall into bed at night and your husband who mainly wears the hats "daddy and worker" comes to bed and wants sex, yes sex, and you think, how on earth can I have sex when I've worn so many hats all day. "Can't you tell I'm tired? And don't you know my head hurts from wearing so many hats all day long?" And this is the conversation heard in most households when mom and dad, but particularly mom, are in the season of Nurturing.
In his book Too Hurried to Love, Charles Bradshaw gives the best illustration about life and priorities I have ever read. He says that every person has an egg basket with X amount of eggs in his/her basket. Each person, responsibility or obligation is represented by one egg. In teaching my classes this lesson, I have literally made them write down all their different responsibilities and the names of all their children and people in their life who depend on them for something, daily. With each egg I put the name of each child, husband, person, responsibility, obligation, etc. that each of them has....all the hats they have to wear, and I ask them to put them in the basket. Some women end up with 20 eggs, but most have around 12 or less. As they start putting eggs in their basket, I keep handing them more and more and more and they start noticing that some of the eggs are falling out, which is what happens when we take on too many responsibilities. I then ask them where God is in their basket. Some, if not all of them, have left God completely out of their baskets. I have them start over with God's egg being the first one they put in. Then I make them put in only the eggs they think they can handle. When asked, "How many eggs does your husband have?" They usually answer one, his job. And, I regret, many of them are right.
One time, I had a lady in class who had a handicapped child who needed constant supervision. She had to do everything for him plus work at a part-time job, as well. She strove to have a close relationship with God, and a loving relationship with her husband while taking on the demands of a very needy child. She told me, that her basket would always and forever only have two or three eggs in it, even though she wished she could handle more. I admire this woman because she knew how much she could handle and was not bitter because of her situation.
If we do not, first of all, have a relationship with God, as Christian moms, all of our other relationships are going to suffer, as is represented by some of our eggs falling out and breaking when more were being added. It takes having a relationship with God in order to know how many eggs we can put in our basket. When I was younger and had small children at home, I thought I could handle lots of eggs and as a result, had a panic attack which landed me in Coronary Care at Greenview Hospital for two days. I was sent home by Dr. Burt with 5 mg. of valium and the instructions to learn how to say "no." God got my attention, but I didn't learn to say no. So, I had another panic attack and migraines and on and on the physical problems came. After going to counseling, psychologists and more doctors, this is the quote I needed to hear that I will always remember:
"God made our bodies in such a way, as to deal with things until our minds are ready."
So when your body tells you you need sleep, sleep. When your body tells you it has a headache listen. When your body tells you it's hungry, eat. But, when your body is constantly in pain, it may be trying to tell you something that your mind is not comprehending. Pain is not the problem. Pain is only the symptom of another problem. The fact that I was biting off more than I could chew, was the real problem, but my mind would not listen.
It is in our minds that our lives are transformed. Rom. 12:2 "Therefore be ye transformed by the renewing of your minds...." which is the reason we have to be in scripture. Talking to our friends about God or reading books about God or even going to worship God on Sunday mornings does not take the place of being with God in His word, in prayer and in meditation. It is only when we come in the most direct contact with God, (not through another individual) that our lives are fulfilled, our minds have peace and our "eggs" are not broken. That is why you, fellow moms, cannot minimize the times you spend with God at home developing your relationship with Him and the times you spend with your children instilling those lessons you've learned from Him, into them.
In order to develop a relationship with God through Bible study, prayer, and meditation you have to find the silence in your life. I know that moms with small children think this is virtually impossible, and even more impossible with older children, but even then, it's not. I've given this assignment to my ladies Bible classes more times than once, and the question is always asked, "What do you mean by finding the silence?" and this is what I tell them. Find the time in your day, when there is no noise, no TV, not any type of interaction with another person, electrical device, etc., except maybe a lamp from electricity. With some people, they use their car, with others the shower, etc. But, this is, really, not where I think your silence should come from. Find a calendar that has every hour of every day listed, or every half hour, and write down everything you're obligated to do during those 24 hours. Then assess what you've just written and come up with a time that you can spend with just you and God. I know of one young mom of three, who got up every morning at 5:30 to read her Bible and pray so she could face the busy day that lay ahead of her. One college student told me she gave up one hour-long soap opera so she could read and pray as well. If you still believe this is just not possible, I ask you to re-assess your priorities. A priority is a value I give something. I deem brushing my teeth as a top priority. That's why I do it every day. Those things I do with regularity, show my priorities. What does it say about my relationship with God if I have to pencil Him into my day? Psalm 119:18 says: "Open my eyes, that I may see wonderful things in your law," and I believe if this is your prayer, He will answer it. I cannot tell you the benefit you will get if you do this.
There are many good Bible studies out there. Everyone knows about Beth Moore and I highly recommend doing one of her studies. She is very in-depth and practically a scholar of the Bible. There are many good books written about the Bible, but I still believe the best thing you can read is the Bible itself. Even if it's a Psalm a day, that's enough to sustain you for a day and Satan will do anything to even stop you from that, but do it anyway. I constantly tell my ladies Bible classes to let God speak to them sometime during the day, even if it's just a morsel, and speak to Him, sometime during the day, even if it's just a brief message. You have to communicate for there to be a relationship...one in which you can consider Him to be your friend...a friend who will never leave nor forsake you...when others will.
Meditation comes from thinking about a verse long enough that it speaks to you. When you read the scripture something will speak to you and prick your heart. That is what you need to meditate on. For instance, I meditated on the verse: "To all perfection, I see a limit. But your commands are boundless" literally, over a period of years before I realized what it meant. It literally took years for the Spirit to reveal to me what it meant. But, when He did, I knew beyond a doubt that I knew. And I did the same thing with "Come unto me all you that labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest." And on and on the meditations have come. Sometimes it's only on a word or thought, but there's usually something brewing in my mind, on which I'm meditating.
How can I do this with small children or babies? With babies, it's easy, because they nap so much. Do it then. With children it's different. When David and Laura were very young toddlers on up to when they entered High School, I did the most of my Bible study. I started teaching Ladies Bible classes when I was pregnant with Laura and had a wonderful mother-in-law who would watch the children for me, even while they lived in Sturgis, in order for me to study. It was a very unique opportunity for me, and I believe, was orchestrated by God, because He knew what lay ahead of me. I had an insatiable appetite for scripture and learning about God, not even knowing, at the time, that He was leading me in the direction that He would have me go, which is a prayer I prayed DAILY so I could recognize how He was working in my life. I still pray it and recommend highly that you pray it every day as well. "God give me opportunities that lead me in the direction that you would have me go." He will start to show Himself in your life by repetition... by people, instances, circumstances, observations, scripture, convictions, etc. that recur in your life, to let you know that He is there and He is speaking to you. AND HE WILL LEAD YOU IN THE DIRECTION HE WOULD HAVE YOU GO.
There is a difference between being called and being driven. A called person listens to the voice of God, while a driven person listens to the voice of the guilt of the inner man. When I was younger I was driven because I was constantly listening to the voice of guilt. I constantly felt guilty if I was not doing something for God. I felt guilty if I ever said "no" to anyone about anything, which is why I had the panic attacks and Dr. Burt sent me home with the instructions to learn how to say "no." What did I do that helped me learn to say "no?" I became a called individual. I learned to listen to God's voice instead of men. I had my quiet time and learned to recognize God's voice over everyone else's. I learned what pleased Him and, asked myself, "Does this fit into my egg basket?" If it did, I did it. If it didn't, I didn't. I also ran everything by Phil to see if he thought it was something I could do and if he said "no" I wouldn't do it.
What do I think God thinks are the most important things you can do during the Nurturing stage of your life, as a young mom? Titus 2:4-5 tells the older women to train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God. I realize that "loving your husbands and children" does not sound too glamorous in today's society, but society today has it all wrong and our world is suffering because of it. When I tell people that I've been married 33 years, they almost applaud because so few couples make it...even in the church. The greatest gift that a man and wife can give their children is to see them loving each other. When Laura was in fourth grade there were less than 5 kids whose parents were not divorced. Imagine the baggage that was in that room. To allow a child to go into adulthood without baggage is the most valuable gift a parent can give their children. When a child's parents divorce, not only does the child have to deal with it as a child, but as an adult, later, who has children of their own and on and on the cycle goes. Consider the account of the minister who has an affair and ends up divorced. What usually happens next is a chain of events that possibly could have been avoided by momma and daddy loving each other and the children. It just sounds too simple to be important. But it's so important that Paul told Titus it was the most important thing a young woman could do.
The next most important thing Paul tells Titus about young women is to love their children, which, I believe, most young moms know how to do, to a fault. Mom's love for her children does not need to be greater than mom's love for her husband. Even more, your identity is not __________'s mom, or ___________'s wife, but God's woman. That is why I say with much conviction that your relationship with God is most important because it's because of Him that you feel valuable. I had to realize that my self-worth did not come from my children or my husband. It came from God. When I know who I am and whose I am, my identity will not be wrapped up in what my husband does for a living, what my children look like, what my children wear, what other people think, what clubs I'm a member of, what church I attend, etc. etc. Those things reflect my character. They do not determine it. Do not let your children determine what you do. Do not let your household revolve around them. Be God's woman. Put Him first and He will tell you what to do.
Does God always expect me to do more? No. It's not about doing. It's about being. We are human beings, not human doings. This is one of my favorite quotes of all times: "If Satan cannot stop you by making you immoral, he can certainly slow you down by making you busy." The world is so performance-based that it carries over into the church and we are saved by grace, not by works, lest any of us could boast. Yes, we have to be some part of the body, but we don't have to be more than what God has called us to be. He has called us to be salt and light and leaven...and all three of these things can be found in the home. What can be more basic than salt and, back then, what could have been more basic than leaven and doesn't everybody need light? When David was a little boy, I remember saying in one of my Bible classes that I would love to be able to lead singing or preach, but that even though I couldn't, God had given me a son who, one day, could. Today David is one of our best song leaders, and I know that God knew that I knew that when David was a baby. Every time I see him lead at age 27, I am reminded of what I desired many years ago.
From their births, I have prayed that David would be a leader and Laura would be a submissive wife. It's a very simple prayer that means nothing at all to the world but means the world to me and them. I believe, as a Christian mom, I have the world in my hands...the world of death and destruction or the world of life and peace. I have chosen to give my children the world of life and peace. It starts with my own relationship with God, continues in my relationship with Phil, flows through us into our children, who, we pray, will develop their own relationship with God, which makes the cycle continue.
I pray that I have spoken from my heart, words that have pricked yours. I believe that we as struggling moms are struggling more than God would have us struggle because we are listening to the world, who wants us to do more, which leaves us too exhausted to be just who God calls us to be...wives and moms (women of God) and nothing more. If you find yourself at home with children all around, look no further for fields that are ripe unto harvest. Don't look elsewhere to be of service to God. You have within your reach the future of tomorrow. Be to them salt, and light and leaven...and don't ever worry that that's not enough.