Hematite Lake

In May, my daughter Laura, moved to Paducah, after living in Bowling Green all her life, with her husband, Clinton, whom she married eight months ago. I've had the privilege of visiting with them over the past two days and have enjoyed seeing the results of seeds that were sown in her youth, that have, now, grown to maturity.

With so many of my "Friends" on Facebook experiencing, for the first time, what it feels like to have their little chicks "fly the nest" I want to share with you some of the things that happened to me in Paducah this week-end, that mimick what you may be going through, as your little chick starts to school.

When I was almost to Laura's apartment, I called to be reassured I could find her. I had the directions from MapQuest, but I knew if she heard my voice telling her where I was, I could hear her voice, reassuring me I could find her. "Don't ever go beyond the sound of my voice."

When I was almost to Laura's apartment, I asked her to come outside so I could see where she was. It doesn't, really, matter how old you are, you just want to know where each other is, especially if one of your little chicks is outside. "I just want to know where you are."

When I walked into the apartment, it was clean. The first thing Laura told me as I entered the back door was, "I cleaned the apartment, just for you...it's straight." "It usually doesn't look this good." Years ago, a very wise man and good friend of mine said to me, "You can't beat what you've taught your children out of their heads with a crowbar. It's in there, whether you think it is or not." Just like she had heard me say a thousand times, "Laura clean your room--company's coming," she had the house cleaned and straight, when the company came. "Because I said so."

When I walked into the apartment, she had candles lit...in two rooms. When Laura and David were very young and I had to leave the house for a few minutes, I asked Laura to be in charge--to just pretend she was me. When I returned home, she was outside sweeping the sidewalk, had a candle lit and mood music playing in the den. This confirms the fact that most lessons we teach our children are caught rather than taught. "You are just like your mother."

When I walked into my bedroom, she had it prepared just for me. What usually is Daphne, the cat's room, became my room and Daphne was moved out. Whether they tell you or not, you are special in your children's eyes, whether you believe it or not. And no one else can take your place. "I just want you to respect me."

When I asked her what she had planned for us to do, she told me, "Hike around Hematite Lake and go on a nature trail." When your little chick plays soccer, you'll go to her game. When your little chick takes dance, you'll go to her recital. When your little chick turns sixteen, you'll teach her to drive. When your little chick turns eighteen you'll take her to college. When your little chick gets engaged, you'll plan the wedding. When your little chick gets married you'll give her away. When your little chick moves, you'll help her pack. One of Gary Chapman's songs says, "The choices we make, make choices for everyone we touch." And the choices our little chicks make, are usually the plans that determine our plans. "Tell me where and when, and I'll be there."

When we got to the nature trail, we were amazed at the ordinary. I had seen humming birds before, but not a hundred of them drinking nectar and flitting around everywhere. I had seen turkeys and deer before, but never had I considered gazing at them. And I had certainly seen POSSUMS before, but I had never stood and watched one eat raw meat that had been cut up into bite-sized pieces that were topped with a dead mouse covered in yogurt. Plus, I had never had the desire to ask 100 questions to anyone about them. But this day I did!!! Somehow, our little chicks would rather be with mom and dad more than anyone else in the world, and what they do with mom and dad doesn't matter--even if it's watching a possum eat yogurt. "I'm always here for you."

When we got to Hematite Lake, Laura went in front of me, showing me the way. When our little chicks are still living at home, we teach them "THE WAY" hoping one day they can walk "THE WAY" alone. And ultimately, one day, they will be the one who leads us, when we need to lean on them. "Remember what we've taught you."

When we had gone less than a mile, the beauty was overwhelming. Hundreds, maybe thousands of lily pads were floating on top of the water...more than I could count or imagine. And all their little "heads" were turning toward the sun. What joy our children bring us, when we see them looking to THE SON, and God, through them, can do immeasurably more than we can ask or imagine. "Remember who you are."

We started out at one location, went full circle, and ended up where we had begun. It's no secret that I was hard on both my children, but hardest on Laura. Like most families, we had years of conflict, that were caused, largely, by me. But I prayed that one day we would come full circle, and start all over again. And, I believe, that is what Hematite Lake represents to me. Even though, I had doubted if I could make the three mile walk, I did, and the beauty I had expected, was before my very eyes. And it was, entirely, worth the walk. "Don't ever give up."

Finally, I want to end with something that happened to me at the very beginning of my trip, that actually, showed me the growth of the most delicate seed I had ever sown. The first thing I saw, upon arriving at Laura's apartment were three notes hanging on her refrigerator door, that I had written and packed inside some boxes, I knew she'd unpack when she finally got to Paducah. The top note started with the words, "I am so proud of you." Even though I had written the note in May when I had helped Laura move, the note was still on her refrigerator door in August. "I am so proud of you" are the words I want her to remember, but more importantly, I believe they are the words she wants to remember, too. When you send your little chick off to school, don't forget to say the words "I am so proud of you." They may just be the words she needs to hear, when she paints that picture, she wants you to hang, on that refrigerator door.

"I am so proud of you."

"Don't ever go beyond the sound of my voice.

"I just want to know where you are."

"Because I said so."

"You are just like your mother."

"I just want you to respect me."

"Tell me where and when and I'll be there."

"I'm always here for you."

"Remember what you've been taught.

"Remember who you are."

"Don't ever give up."

"I am so proud of you!"