I couldn't turn the light on
My mantra is three-fold. God is in control. His timing is perfect and He has never made a mistake. It’s the first part of my mantra that has gotten me through some very difficult times, but is the part I've struggled with the most. The other two, to me, are the easy parts. When I was 29 and going through the pit of depression, I did not see nor understand, any of the three parts. But, 23 years later, I do.
This is what I know about God’s will. God has three wills: Permissive, as in James 3:15--He will let us sin, even though it hurts Him; Perceptive, as in Matt. 7:21--He perceives who is doing His will; and Decretive, as in Acts 2:22, 23--Jesus was crucified according to God's set purpose and foreknowledge.
I very much so believe that everything that happens to me has gone through God’s sieve of approval before He ever lets it happen to me. If God did not think I could handle it, He would not have allowed it to happen. That is so hard to understand in our “human” minds, but “if all things work together for good to those who love Him and are called according to His purpose,” then I believe everything that happens to us, is for our good. Even when we make the wrong decisions, God will use those to work in accordance with His plan, and will ultimately lead to greater good, even though it’s impossible for me to see it at the time.
Pharoah is such a great example of this. God used Pharoah, even though he stood directly opposed to God, to carry out His plan. How God uses evil people to carry out His plan, when obviously what that person does is sinful, is beyond me. The people who stoned Stephen to death, (i.e. Paul was there, being a part of God’s plan), were a part of God’s plan. And Stephen, like Christ, asked God to forgive them, even as He was dying. I don’t believe Stephen stood there bitter, because we see His forgiving spirit. Stephen, I believe, exemplies all three of God's will. Permissive because He allowed it; Perceptive, because He knew the evil men from the good; and Decretive because it was a part of His set purpose and knowledge.
When I can’t see that God is in control, or I absolutely don’t agree with someone’s decision, I have to put into practice submission. Submission is making the decision work when I don’t agree with it. Submission is only necessary when there is disagreement. And no one can make you submit. It is something you give, but cannot be made to do. That is called slavery. I have submitted many times to my husband, because I have disagreed with him and his actions or his decisions, or even his request for me to do something. And I have made the situation work, even though I did not agree with it. I have vehemently disagreed with the elders on numerous times, but have submitted because I have made the situation work, when I have completely disagreed with it. I have been reading Mother Teresa No Greater Love and in it she says “The only way to learn humility is to be humiliated.” When I first read that I did not like it, because I don’t ever want to be humiliated. I don’t like how it feels nor what it looks like. But I believe she is right. I have learned in my own life, that everytime I have submitted, it has taught me humility and God has strengthened me because of it, and deepened my relationship with Him. I agree that being a woman, has made submission easier for me. 1) because I am not in control of anyone at church, except maybe the “children” I teach, and that is only to the extent that they (the children) allow it. I believe that children who submit, willingly, are compliant children. You cannot control another person’s mind and that is one reason you cannot control them. 2) because I can only control that which I have authority over–and I used to think that was my children, but I certainly know now that I cannot even control them. I believe submission is harder for men because men view each other as equals, whereas women, especially in the church, are not equal to men, even though they might be in the work force. But even then that’s debateable. Women in the church, have always had to submit, in one way or another, and, I believe, they’ve had to submit in the marriage, because the “husband is over the wife.” [boy does that sound funny] (-:
I believe men have a very difficult time, when it comes to submission at church, because they are part of the leadership themselves. They are sometimes part of the “hired servants” of the church and they are the ones usually responsible for the major decisions in their homes. They feel responsible for “doing things right” before God, whom they are accountable to, and that is exactly how they should feel. However, I do believe if a man, whoever he is, it makes no difference, finds himself repeatedly disagreeing with the eldership of the church where he is presently worshiping, then I believe he should leave. I don’t believe God expects a man to keep his family worshiping where he feels he is not worshiping in spirit and in truth, and where he is constantly butting heads.
When we lived in Erlanger we worshiped at one of the very few churches of Christ there. Phil and I worshiped there for 3 years and served under the leadership of, who we thought, were 3 unqualified elders. Several members agreed they were unqualified as well, including the preacher. We stayed with that congregation all 3 years, 1) because we could see that we were only going to be there 3 years and 2) because there were few other congregations and 3) we liked the people there. We felt like “we” worshiped God, we did not worship God through the elders. I believe that’s why Paul tells us that he had faith in God and love for the people he was writing to, instead of, the way we want to say it, love for God and faith in the brethren. The brethren are going to constantly let us down. God did, however, deal with all three elders, in His time, and in His own way. In Destin, there is an elder who has been divorced and remarried. Duh?!? I know, however, one of my best friends is worshiping under him. She and her husband are worshiping there, even though they don’t agree with the situation. This is still where they choose to worship.
Years ago, I was asked to stop teaching for one year. Whether it was for my health or not, that was the reason I was asked to stop. I hated that decision. I really wanted to teach, but I could not. However, I submitted and learned a great deal of humility, which, I believe was part of God’s plan. When my Bible class washed feet, I decided that even though I felt I had done nothing wrong and was following Christ’s example, I made a public statement for offending those people I had offended, just to stop the ya, ya, that was going on at church. I submitted, even though I disagreed with the people who were ya yaing.
However, I had a very controlling dad, whom I resisted all my life. I could not wait to get out from under his roof. So, when I met Phil, I saw unconditional love for the first time. I hated the way my dad made me feel. When I was in a Bible class one time making a comment, amongst other adults, I was maybe 17, when I got through making the comment, my dad spoke up and said, “What Teresa really means is this.” I was furious, but realized this was just typical of my dad. So, needless to say, it was not hard for me to make the decision to leave home, and get married at the age of 19. This is the man who, before he married my mom, pulled up in front of the church building and momma asked “Bobby why are we here?” To which he replied, “Geneva, we’re here for you to be baptized.” And that is why she was baptized. This is the dad, that told us, my sister and me, we had to turn the light off, so we studied by the light from the electric blanket. I was so in conflict with him, that the only way I could deal with him was to leave, because I knew I would always be his child and under his authority if I continued to be single and accountable to him. However, my sister is married and, except for a very brief time, has lived five miles or less from my mom and dad. She sees them often. But, I have not disowned my sister for worshiping with them (where my dad is an elder) nor for having a relationship with him, because she chose to stay and I chose to leave. As a matter of fact, it has made me love her sooooooo much more, because she is the one who's been there for them, as a result of my moving away.
I have always been strong willed, but I believe God has used that as a part of His plan. My strong will has repeatedly gotten me in conflict with several people. I know what I believe and why I believe it and I believe it with conviction. If you disagree with me, I will respect your opinion, but I will also expect you to respect mine. What is more important than me expressing my opinion, however, is the spirit in which I do it. This is what I have had to constantly work on. I have had to savor my speech with salt. But rather than use the salt to savor, I have used the salt in such a way as to to leave painful wounds. That is my weakness that I, constantly, have to turn over to God. That is a sin I have to confess.
I do realize that God is in control. His timing is perfect and He has never made a mistake, but all of those realizations came to me between the ages of 40 and 50. It was a lightbulb moment for me. It was something God had to teach me. No one else could. I can look back and see him perfecting me, refining me through the fire, in the furnace of affliction. Regardless of the decisions I have made, He has made something good come out of each of them. If I made the right one, He blessed me. If I made the wrong one, He blessed me. Furthermore, He is the only One who knows, really, whether they were right or wrong. That is why on this earth, I have to walk by faith. That is why we call it faith. Faith is believing in advance what will only make sense in reverse. On this earth, we have to walk by faith.
I love the following quote from C.S. Lewis in The Screwtape Letters:
“He cannot “tempt” to virtue as we do to vice. He wants them to learn to walk and must therefore take away His hand; and if only the will to walk is really there, He is pleased even with their stumbles.”
This is what I know about God’s will. God has three wills: Permissive, as in James 3:15--He will let us sin, even though it hurts Him; Perceptive, as in Matt. 7:21--He perceives who is doing His will; and Decretive, as in Acts 2:22, 23--Jesus was crucified according to God's set purpose and foreknowledge.
I very much so believe that everything that happens to me has gone through God’s sieve of approval before He ever lets it happen to me. If God did not think I could handle it, He would not have allowed it to happen. That is so hard to understand in our “human” minds, but “if all things work together for good to those who love Him and are called according to His purpose,” then I believe everything that happens to us, is for our good. Even when we make the wrong decisions, God will use those to work in accordance with His plan, and will ultimately lead to greater good, even though it’s impossible for me to see it at the time.
Pharoah is such a great example of this. God used Pharoah, even though he stood directly opposed to God, to carry out His plan. How God uses evil people to carry out His plan, when obviously what that person does is sinful, is beyond me. The people who stoned Stephen to death, (i.e. Paul was there, being a part of God’s plan), were a part of God’s plan. And Stephen, like Christ, asked God to forgive them, even as He was dying. I don’t believe Stephen stood there bitter, because we see His forgiving spirit. Stephen, I believe, exemplies all three of God's will. Permissive because He allowed it; Perceptive, because He knew the evil men from the good; and Decretive because it was a part of His set purpose and knowledge.
When I can’t see that God is in control, or I absolutely don’t agree with someone’s decision, I have to put into practice submission. Submission is making the decision work when I don’t agree with it. Submission is only necessary when there is disagreement. And no one can make you submit. It is something you give, but cannot be made to do. That is called slavery. I have submitted many times to my husband, because I have disagreed with him and his actions or his decisions, or even his request for me to do something. And I have made the situation work, even though I did not agree with it. I have vehemently disagreed with the elders on numerous times, but have submitted because I have made the situation work, when I have completely disagreed with it. I have been reading Mother Teresa No Greater Love and in it she says “The only way to learn humility is to be humiliated.” When I first read that I did not like it, because I don’t ever want to be humiliated. I don’t like how it feels nor what it looks like. But I believe she is right. I have learned in my own life, that everytime I have submitted, it has taught me humility and God has strengthened me because of it, and deepened my relationship with Him. I agree that being a woman, has made submission easier for me. 1) because I am not in control of anyone at church, except maybe the “children” I teach, and that is only to the extent that they (the children) allow it. I believe that children who submit, willingly, are compliant children. You cannot control another person’s mind and that is one reason you cannot control them. 2) because I can only control that which I have authority over–and I used to think that was my children, but I certainly know now that I cannot even control them. I believe submission is harder for men because men view each other as equals, whereas women, especially in the church, are not equal to men, even though they might be in the work force. But even then that’s debateable. Women in the church, have always had to submit, in one way or another, and, I believe, they’ve had to submit in the marriage, because the “husband is over the wife.” [boy does that sound funny] (-:
I believe men have a very difficult time, when it comes to submission at church, because they are part of the leadership themselves. They are sometimes part of the “hired servants” of the church and they are the ones usually responsible for the major decisions in their homes. They feel responsible for “doing things right” before God, whom they are accountable to, and that is exactly how they should feel. However, I do believe if a man, whoever he is, it makes no difference, finds himself repeatedly disagreeing with the eldership of the church where he is presently worshiping, then I believe he should leave. I don’t believe God expects a man to keep his family worshiping where he feels he is not worshiping in spirit and in truth, and where he is constantly butting heads.
When we lived in Erlanger we worshiped at one of the very few churches of Christ there. Phil and I worshiped there for 3 years and served under the leadership of, who we thought, were 3 unqualified elders. Several members agreed they were unqualified as well, including the preacher. We stayed with that congregation all 3 years, 1) because we could see that we were only going to be there 3 years and 2) because there were few other congregations and 3) we liked the people there. We felt like “we” worshiped God, we did not worship God through the elders. I believe that’s why Paul tells us that he had faith in God and love for the people he was writing to, instead of, the way we want to say it, love for God and faith in the brethren. The brethren are going to constantly let us down. God did, however, deal with all three elders, in His time, and in His own way. In Destin, there is an elder who has been divorced and remarried. Duh?!? I know, however, one of my best friends is worshiping under him. She and her husband are worshiping there, even though they don’t agree with the situation. This is still where they choose to worship.
Years ago, I was asked to stop teaching for one year. Whether it was for my health or not, that was the reason I was asked to stop. I hated that decision. I really wanted to teach, but I could not. However, I submitted and learned a great deal of humility, which, I believe was part of God’s plan. When my Bible class washed feet, I decided that even though I felt I had done nothing wrong and was following Christ’s example, I made a public statement for offending those people I had offended, just to stop the ya, ya, that was going on at church. I submitted, even though I disagreed with the people who were ya yaing.
However, I had a very controlling dad, whom I resisted all my life. I could not wait to get out from under his roof. So, when I met Phil, I saw unconditional love for the first time. I hated the way my dad made me feel. When I was in a Bible class one time making a comment, amongst other adults, I was maybe 17, when I got through making the comment, my dad spoke up and said, “What Teresa really means is this.” I was furious, but realized this was just typical of my dad. So, needless to say, it was not hard for me to make the decision to leave home, and get married at the age of 19. This is the man who, before he married my mom, pulled up in front of the church building and momma asked “Bobby why are we here?” To which he replied, “Geneva, we’re here for you to be baptized.” And that is why she was baptized. This is the dad, that told us, my sister and me, we had to turn the light off, so we studied by the light from the electric blanket. I was so in conflict with him, that the only way I could deal with him was to leave, because I knew I would always be his child and under his authority if I continued to be single and accountable to him. However, my sister is married and, except for a very brief time, has lived five miles or less from my mom and dad. She sees them often. But, I have not disowned my sister for worshiping with them (where my dad is an elder) nor for having a relationship with him, because she chose to stay and I chose to leave. As a matter of fact, it has made me love her sooooooo much more, because she is the one who's been there for them, as a result of my moving away.
I have always been strong willed, but I believe God has used that as a part of His plan. My strong will has repeatedly gotten me in conflict with several people. I know what I believe and why I believe it and I believe it with conviction. If you disagree with me, I will respect your opinion, but I will also expect you to respect mine. What is more important than me expressing my opinion, however, is the spirit in which I do it. This is what I have had to constantly work on. I have had to savor my speech with salt. But rather than use the salt to savor, I have used the salt in such a way as to to leave painful wounds. That is my weakness that I, constantly, have to turn over to God. That is a sin I have to confess.
I do realize that God is in control. His timing is perfect and He has never made a mistake, but all of those realizations came to me between the ages of 40 and 50. It was a lightbulb moment for me. It was something God had to teach me. No one else could. I can look back and see him perfecting me, refining me through the fire, in the furnace of affliction. Regardless of the decisions I have made, He has made something good come out of each of them. If I made the right one, He blessed me. If I made the wrong one, He blessed me. Furthermore, He is the only One who knows, really, whether they were right or wrong. That is why on this earth, I have to walk by faith. That is why we call it faith. Faith is believing in advance what will only make sense in reverse. On this earth, we have to walk by faith.
I love the following quote from C.S. Lewis in The Screwtape Letters:
“He cannot “tempt” to virtue as we do to vice. He wants them to learn to walk and must therefore take away His hand; and if only the will to walk is really there, He is pleased even with their stumbles.”
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