Decisions, decisions, decisions, (part two)

I hope you don't think that I think discerning God's will is easy. I don't, which is probably the reason I've written so much about making the right decisions. In no way, do I want to imply that I know how God thinks. "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways" declares the Lord. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:8, 9 My intentions in writing about God's will is more to let you know how I've struggled with making decisions, rather than imply I have the answers. I don't. Until I see Him face to face, I will always struggle with understanding God's will in making decisions, because only then will I have perfect knowledge.

To continue answering the questions, How do you know when something is God's will?" "How do you know you're making the right decision?" "What if you make the wrong one?" "Then what?" I want to continue by looking at four more questions I believe will help us discern whether something is God's will or not.


5) What is my motive for desiring this? Does it violate my conscience?

What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you? You want something but don't get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures. James 4:1-3

When Adam told God, in the garden, that "he heard the sound of God in the garden and he was afraid because he was naked; so he hid himself," he was not afraid because of his nakedness, he was afraid because he had disobeyed God, wanting to be like Him. I believe when we violate our conscience we know it, we just don't want to admit it. The knowledge of good and evil goes all the way back to the Garden of Eden and just like Adam and Eve, we make bad choices, based on wrong motives, which usually center around our pleasures--the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, or the pride of life.

This seems like such a trivial example, but many years ago Phil and I were asked to go to a wedding, we did not want to go to. The person who asked us to go, said, "You know you want to go, because all the big wigs in Bowling Green are going to be there, and you know you want the exposure." We could not have cared less about the exposure, we thought, but we went. Whether we were guilty of pride for going, the pride of the person asking us, encouraged us to go. So pride was directly involved in our decision. Even to this day, I don't want to admit we were prideful.

A few years ago, I had a lady at church say to me, "Teresa if you don't start going to showers, when it's time for your children to get married, no one will come to their showers." Is that really the reason I want to attend showers? Is keeping up with the Jones's the real reason I want a bigger house or a promotion? Do I really want my children to look good because that's what they like to wear, or do I want to present an image to the world of prosperity and success...worldly prosperity and success? Do I really even want to admit that? Do my children really care about what they wear as much as I do? What are my decisions based on, even the trivial ones? Are they based on pride?

6) Do I have peace about it?


Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Phil. 4:6,7

Before making any decision, big or small, pray about it and you can rest assured God will answer your prayer. He answers every prayer. It just may not be the way you want. You can bet your life on the fact that God cares more about you than you care for yourself and He will work all things out for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose (Rom. 8:28), even if it's a "no" answer. I want to have the same relationship with God that's reflected in this statement from the song Smell the Color 9. "I would take no for an answer just to know I'd heard you speak." I love that! And I want to be able to say the same thing.


Chuck Miller, one of the most godly men I've ever known, told me how he knew if something was God's will or not, was by the restlessness in his gut. If I'm getting ahead of God, I just have a restless spirit, he said. I asked Scott Burton, this week, why he didn't take the job in Hopkinsville and he replied that it just didn't feel right. I believe that gut feeling, was a godly feeling, because he was attuned to God and listened to His voice. Scott told me that being near his family, physically and emotionally, meant more to him than taking the job. I believe that was the right decision and Scott will be blessed because of it.


As Christians, our relationship with God determines the peace we have within us. God is the God of peace, not the God of chaos and if we worship the God of peace, we should have peace. The decisions we make reflect our relationship with God. My husband, Phil, has always said the world should not have peace, because they do not worship God. The best thing that could happen to a non-Christian is for him to feel miserable. And I agree. Christians should have peace with their decisions because ideally they are the ones who are in the Word, still enough to hear God's voice, praying about it, and who have pure motives. Charles Stanley says in his book Talking with God, "a burden lifts when all of the preparation is completed so that God can act." When God acts, I believe I will know it and I will have peace about it. This leads me to the next question.

7) Have the puzzle pieces fallen together easily or have I pushed them together?


Allowing God to act is totally different from manipulating people or circumstances in order to bring about a desired result.

Especially in major decisions like buying a house, choosing a mate or selecting a job, I believe we must not make a decision UNTIL WE HAVE CLEARLY HEARD GOD'S VOICE. I've told people many times it's better to do nothing than to make the wrong decision. So, how does God speak to us? Through His word, the Holy Spirit, godly people and circumstances. Let me share with you some decisions I've made, based on each of these ways God spoke to me.

Because of God's word regarding being unequally yoked with unbelievers I would not allow myself to date anyone that I would not marry. I limited myself to dating only Christians. That was a very hard decision I made, but it was based on scripture. When God brought the right person along for me to marry, I knew He had made the decision for me, because I had waited for him to make it clear to me. I know now, however, that many people are converted by their spouses and for that reason I am definitely not advocating that all Christians only date and marry other Christians, but for me, it was a rule I had to keep, out of a good conscience. Purity in my relationship with Phil is paramount to me and that is because of scripture. One man for one woman for a lifetime is a decision I've made based on scripture.

Because of the Holy Spirit's leading I taped a video series entitled Becoming a Woman of Peace. It was something I could not not do. I was called to do it. To have said "no" to such an obvious calling would have grieved the Holy Spirit, who I would have quinched. I heard the words Seed to the Sower during my sleep one night, when I was struggling with naming the calendar I published years ago. I got up the next morning and found the words in 2 Corinthians 9:10, and realized the name was exactly what I was looking for. I heard the words "improve your serve" in my sleep last month when I was deciding which book to teach in my ladies class. I knew, in my sub-conscience, when I was struggling with finding the right book to teach, that the size of the book was small and that I had read it before. After hearing the words "improve your serve" I went to my library the next morning and immediately found the book Improving Your Serve by Charles Swindoll. The name was given me by the Holy Spirit and I had complete peace that this was the book I was supposed to teach.

Years ago I was struggling with the decision as to whether to quit my job or not. I had prayed and prayed about it and needed to hear a clear voice from God. I walked in to talk to Russ King, who was our youth minster, and in the course of our conversation he looked at me and said, "Teresa, you need to quit your job." I said, "Thank you Lord," and because God spoke to me through a godly man, I quit my job.

Through several different circumstances God changed the plans Phil and I had for our life. When I taught Senior High English at Boone County High in 1977-1979, I had every intention of being a high school English teacher for life. However, because of a very bad teaching experience during those two years, I promised God that I would never teach in a secular school again. God knew that having a major in English and a minor in Speech Communication, would equip me for the ministry I now have in teaching the Bible, when I thought it was only going to be used for teaching High School English.

Originally, Phil and I had planned on having three children, but after Laura was born, I had to have a hysterectomy. That was a decision that Phil and I had to make, but looking back, I believe God used that situation to start a chain of events that placed me before Him in a way I would have never chosen. God used a chain of circumstances to change the course of my life so He could use me in the way He wanted to use me...instead of the way I had originally planned.

8) How is this decision going to affect those around me?

One year I had to fly to three different speaking engagements. Even though I loved speaking, Phil asked me to stop speaking because it was affecting mine and his relationship and putting strain on our family. Even though I did not want to quit, I quit out of respect for him, which required a great deal of submission on my part. Submission is "making the decision work when I don't agree with it" and this was one I didn't agree with, but to make the decision work, I submitted.

After Laura was born, Phil asked me not to work, which was something I did not want to do. I was going to climb the corporate ladder and I had no desire to stay at home and be a full time mom. However, after realizing Phil wanted me to stay home, I made the decision to honor him, so I stayed home.

When Scott Burton and I were talking about his not taking the job in Hopkinsville, he told me he realized the strain it was going to put on his family, especially with him not being available to go to school and family activities. That was a major factor in making his decision because he knew how taking the job would adversely affect the family.

Several years ago Gary Chapman sang a song which had the following words in it: "The choices we make, make choices for everyone we touch." How true that is! If I choose to drink and drive and kill someone, then that one decision to drink has started a whole host of decisions that will have to be made by people I will never meet. "The choices we make, make choices for everyone we touch."

Finally, can I really know 100% that I've made the right decision?

I'll say in a nutshell what Scott told me when asked that question. The only way I can know if I've made the right decision is by looking back. And I believe he's right, and his answer is substantiated in scripture. In Exodus 33 Moses asks the Lord,

"If you are pleased with me, teach me your ways so I may know you and continue to find favor with you. Remember that this nation is your people." The Lord replied, "My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest." The Moses said to him, "If your Presence does not go with us, do not send us up from here. How will anyone know that you are pleased with me and with your people unless you go with us? What else will distinguish me and your people from all the other people on the face of the earth?" And the Lord said to Moses, "I will do the very thing you have asked, because I am pleased with you and I know you by name." Then Moses said, "Now show me your glory." And the Lord said, "I will cause all my goodness to pass in front of you, and I will proclaim my name, the Lord, in your presence. I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I will have compassion. But, " he said, "you cannot see my face, for no one may see me and live." Then the Lord said, "There is a place near me where you may stand on a rock. When my glory passes by, I will put you in the rock and cover you with my hand until I have passed by. Then I will remove my hand and you will see my back; but my face must not be seen."

It's when we look back on God and how He dealt with us, that we understand whether or not we made the right decisions. It's not until we see Him face to face that we will have full assurance of His will. Faith is believing in advance what will only make sense in reverse and by faith we make our decisions, trusting that His presence is with us.