Depression -- four lessons I've learned
I suffer from depression; I have most of my life; it’s nothing I try to hide; I speak freely about it. There are some lessons I’ve learned I have to put into practice every day. I just believe people who suffer from depression sometime suffer in silence when they don’t have to; this is what this article is about. If it just helps one person, it's worth sharing.
I live in the present moment. All of life is lived in the present moment. Looking forward brings worry and anxiety. Looking back brings regret and guilt. Stay in the moment. If you’re in the shower BE IN THE SHOWER. Don’t be thinking about paying the bills or cooking supper or being at work. Feel the water, smell the soap, bask in the steam – experience it. If your mind wanders bring it back like a lost puppy; retrieve it. Experience THIS MOMENT.
I understand why depression is called frozen rage. Anger and depression go hand-in-hand. If depression is frozen rage then when it “thaws” or “melts” anger is released. It is amazing to me that one minute you can be lethargic and the next one raging mad. That’s just the nature of the beast.
Figure out what you’re angry at and there, more than likely will be the source of your depression. Here is an excerpt from an article I wrote for Christian Woman magazine at their request. It identifies the source of my anger in 1984, when I hit rock bottom.
“I, the strong-willed child was now the helpless adult. I, the fixer, had more problems than I could repair and I was angry. I was angry at my mother-in-law for running my household so smoothly. I was angry at myself for being so weak. I was angry at my children for being children. I was angry at my surgeon for having to perform the second surgery. I was angry for my inability to work. I was angry at my husband for asking me not to work. I was angry at God for allowing something so terrible to happen to me at such an early age. I was angry at God for changing MY plans.”
I don’t deny having a chemical imbalance; tests prove it. I have to take medication. If you run into people who think this is a faith issue, swallow, say a prayer for them and move on. (When I say there are people out there who suffer in silence, this is usually why.) For many years I took only anti-depressants because depression was what I predominantly suffered from. Today I take a mood stabilizer because the diagnosis of depression has been changed to bi-polar illness (predominantly depression) which I know is the right diagnosis. I don’t have a choice but to be medicated. However, I, like Paul, consider bi-polar illness my thorn in the flesh, which keeps me close to God; and that’s perfectly okay with me. (I say that with ease now but, believe me, it took years to come to that conclusion.) Somehow, someway, God chose depression to benefit me and be used for His glory and keep me close to Him.
I have learned that “Depression often symbolizes that you are holding on to an unattainable goal.” I think I found this quote in Richard Carlson’s book You Can Be Happy No Matter What. (They are no longer just words on a page; I have fleshed them out.) If you suffer from depression buy this book! When I found this quote the penny dropped and light bulbs came on. My unattainable goal had been perfection and I had almost killed myself trying to be perfect– literally. I sought counsel from a local psychologist who said the ten most life-changing words I’d ever heard in my life: “Teresa, perfection is not a goal, it is a disorder.” I had always been taught a works religion. Hardly ever had I heard the word grace much less experienced it. When I realized I am a sinner, bought by the blood of Jesus Christ – I can’t do this on my own – I lowered MY standards, accepted HIS grace and allowed myself to be just that -- a sinner.
Wherever I go God brings people to me suffering from depression -- like the day I was at Nat’s (I thought) to buy a pair of shoes. The lady remarked she liked my glasses which I told her I had just purchased, with a few extra "bells and whistles" since I was getting ready to be “on camera” filming Becoming a Woman of Peace. I mentioned what the videos were about and almost instantly she got as close to me as she could and said “That’s my husband over there. And we’ve just come, right now, from the doctor who diagnosed him with depression.” And face-to-face, heart-to-heart the conversation ensued. She asked "What's the best advice you can give me quickly?" I told her to buy Richard Carlson's book You Can Be Happy No Matter What. Her husband returned. We hugged. I left and thanked God for another opportunity.
If you need advice or a further explanation of any of these lessons, please feel free to e-mail me at TBKimbel@bellsouth.net. I would love to hear from you.
I live in the present moment. All of life is lived in the present moment. Looking forward brings worry and anxiety. Looking back brings regret and guilt. Stay in the moment. If you’re in the shower BE IN THE SHOWER. Don’t be thinking about paying the bills or cooking supper or being at work. Feel the water, smell the soap, bask in the steam – experience it. If your mind wanders bring it back like a lost puppy; retrieve it. Experience THIS MOMENT.
I understand why depression is called frozen rage. Anger and depression go hand-in-hand. If depression is frozen rage then when it “thaws” or “melts” anger is released. It is amazing to me that one minute you can be lethargic and the next one raging mad. That’s just the nature of the beast.
Figure out what you’re angry at and there, more than likely will be the source of your depression. Here is an excerpt from an article I wrote for Christian Woman magazine at their request. It identifies the source of my anger in 1984, when I hit rock bottom.
“I, the strong-willed child was now the helpless adult. I, the fixer, had more problems than I could repair and I was angry. I was angry at my mother-in-law for running my household so smoothly. I was angry at myself for being so weak. I was angry at my children for being children. I was angry at my surgeon for having to perform the second surgery. I was angry for my inability to work. I was angry at my husband for asking me not to work. I was angry at God for allowing something so terrible to happen to me at such an early age. I was angry at God for changing MY plans.”
I don’t deny having a chemical imbalance; tests prove it. I have to take medication. If you run into people who think this is a faith issue, swallow, say a prayer for them and move on. (When I say there are people out there who suffer in silence, this is usually why.) For many years I took only anti-depressants because depression was what I predominantly suffered from. Today I take a mood stabilizer because the diagnosis of depression has been changed to bi-polar illness (predominantly depression) which I know is the right diagnosis. I don’t have a choice but to be medicated. However, I, like Paul, consider bi-polar illness my thorn in the flesh, which keeps me close to God; and that’s perfectly okay with me. (I say that with ease now but, believe me, it took years to come to that conclusion.) Somehow, someway, God chose depression to benefit me and be used for His glory and keep me close to Him.
I have learned that “Depression often symbolizes that you are holding on to an unattainable goal.” I think I found this quote in Richard Carlson’s book You Can Be Happy No Matter What. (They are no longer just words on a page; I have fleshed them out.) If you suffer from depression buy this book! When I found this quote the penny dropped and light bulbs came on. My unattainable goal had been perfection and I had almost killed myself trying to be perfect– literally. I sought counsel from a local psychologist who said the ten most life-changing words I’d ever heard in my life: “Teresa, perfection is not a goal, it is a disorder.” I had always been taught a works religion. Hardly ever had I heard the word grace much less experienced it. When I realized I am a sinner, bought by the blood of Jesus Christ – I can’t do this on my own – I lowered MY standards, accepted HIS grace and allowed myself to be just that -- a sinner.
Wherever I go God brings people to me suffering from depression -- like the day I was at Nat’s (I thought) to buy a pair of shoes. The lady remarked she liked my glasses which I told her I had just purchased, with a few extra "bells and whistles" since I was getting ready to be “on camera” filming Becoming a Woman of Peace. I mentioned what the videos were about and almost instantly she got as close to me as she could and said “That’s my husband over there. And we’ve just come, right now, from the doctor who diagnosed him with depression.” And face-to-face, heart-to-heart the conversation ensued. She asked "What's the best advice you can give me quickly?" I told her to buy Richard Carlson's book You Can Be Happy No Matter What. Her husband returned. We hugged. I left and thanked God for another opportunity.
If you need advice or a further explanation of any of these lessons, please feel free to e-mail me at TBKimbel@bellsouth.net. I would love to hear from you.
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