Made Himself Nothing
There’s a lot going on where I worship right now that centers around conflict between members. Here’s my own advice for anyone who’s been there and done that, like I have – found herself in conflict with another church member. I have been both the offend – ER and the offend – ED. For the advice I have to offer, it doesn’t matter which side you’re on. I would give this advice to either side.
1) The disagreement is not as important as the manner in which it is handled.
2) Most of the time, the disagreement is not about the disagreement it’s about personalities.
3) If the disagreement is over whether something is a sin or not, then it must be substantiated by scripture.
4) If scripture substantiates it, then it’s a moot issue and has already been dealt with.
5) If scripture is silent, then it must be considered a grey area.
6) Grey areas are grey areas and must not be considered black or white.
7) My opinions about grey areas are determined by my perception which is totally subjective.
8) My willingness to accept a grey area is determined by the degree to which I love my brother whose grey area I am disputing.
9) Elders must determine grey issues when grey issues arise.
10) Members must submit to elder’s “opinions/decisions” about grey issues. Submission is making the decision work when I don’t agree with it. If we agree there is no need for submission.
11) If members can’t submit to the elder’s decisions, they must leave or keep what they believe about the issue between themselves and God, and stay. (Rom. 14:22).
12) If gossip arises, then another issue arises, harder to solve than the issue at hand.
13) The gossip – ER must come to realize that the gossip is as sinful as the issue at hand.
14) Sin is sin and we’re all guilty.
15) That which I hate in my brother, is that which I hate in myself.
Every disagreement is God’s way of perfecting ME whether I am the offend – ED or the offend – ER. It’s about the lessons I’M learning, not the lessons I’m teaching you. God does all the teaching; I learn. My eyes must be taken off my brother and turned toward God and my relationship with Him. When Martha asked Jesus to ask Mary to help her in the kitchen, Martha was watching Mary who was watching Jesus.
Our business is not about proving someone right or wrong; it’s about making ourselves nothing. If I am to become a living sacrifice, God will give me opportunities to submit. He will MAKE ME come face to face with my own selfishness. He will teach me what “making Himself nothing” looks like.
Proving whether something is right or wrong is not nearly as important as forgiving those who offended you and accepting those you have offended.
“Honor one another above yourselves.” …. “Do not repay evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” (Rom 12:9b; 17, 18)
1) The disagreement is not as important as the manner in which it is handled.
2) Most of the time, the disagreement is not about the disagreement it’s about personalities.
3) If the disagreement is over whether something is a sin or not, then it must be substantiated by scripture.
4) If scripture substantiates it, then it’s a moot issue and has already been dealt with.
5) If scripture is silent, then it must be considered a grey area.
6) Grey areas are grey areas and must not be considered black or white.
7) My opinions about grey areas are determined by my perception which is totally subjective.
8) My willingness to accept a grey area is determined by the degree to which I love my brother whose grey area I am disputing.
9) Elders must determine grey issues when grey issues arise.
10) Members must submit to elder’s “opinions/decisions” about grey issues. Submission is making the decision work when I don’t agree with it. If we agree there is no need for submission.
11) If members can’t submit to the elder’s decisions, they must leave or keep what they believe about the issue between themselves and God, and stay. (Rom. 14:22).
12) If gossip arises, then another issue arises, harder to solve than the issue at hand.
13) The gossip – ER must come to realize that the gossip is as sinful as the issue at hand.
14) Sin is sin and we’re all guilty.
15) That which I hate in my brother, is that which I hate in myself.
Every disagreement is God’s way of perfecting ME whether I am the offend – ED or the offend – ER. It’s about the lessons I’M learning, not the lessons I’m teaching you. God does all the teaching; I learn. My eyes must be taken off my brother and turned toward God and my relationship with Him. When Martha asked Jesus to ask Mary to help her in the kitchen, Martha was watching Mary who was watching Jesus.
Our business is not about proving someone right or wrong; it’s about making ourselves nothing. If I am to become a living sacrifice, God will give me opportunities to submit. He will MAKE ME come face to face with my own selfishness. He will teach me what “making Himself nothing” looks like.
Proving whether something is right or wrong is not nearly as important as forgiving those who offended you and accepting those you have offended.
“Honor one another above yourselves.” …. “Do not repay evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” (Rom 12:9b; 17, 18)
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