"Why are you in a hurry, Mammie?"
“Why are you in a hurry, Mammie?” Bella asked, as I reached in to get the ice to cool off my glass of tea. I said “I don’t know, Bella.” which I’ve since wondered why now maybe a hundred times. I’ve envisioned acceptable times of running -- like the doctor who ran to do heart surgery on Larson and me as I’ve run to throw up with a stomach “bug” or Mr. Gregory as he ran to save the child from running into the street. I’ve even thought about times in the Bible where people ran: like the father who ran to greet his son when he returned home from living in the pig pen and Mary and Peter as they ran to find Jesus but instead found the empty tomb. These somehow seem acceptable to me, but not me running in to get ice out of the freezer to cool down my tea. Somehow what I did just seems so unnecessary to me right now. And Bella was sooooooooooo right to ask me why I was in such a hurry. I have since thought as to why I’m usually in a hurry and I’ve come to the conclusion it’s because I’m usually late everywhere I go which is because I love to sleep late (for lots of reasons I’ll not go into). But this is not why I was hurrying while just putting ice in my tea. I wasn’t late to do anything.
It was a beautiful day in May with large, puffy clouds perched perfectly in the sky that intermittently covered a great big sun that shone brightly as the clouds eventually passed by -- at the pool, laying on a float in eighty-degree weather in eighty-degree water, family nearby – an American Gothic kind of day – and I was in a hurry. I was in a hurry and Bella brought it to my attention -- in a hurry to get ice for my tea.
Yes, children hurry, but not the type of hurrying I was doing. Theirs is more of an excitement, anticipation, because they see life as good; mine is more of a “skimming.” Lately I’ve seen life as a struggle – something that has to be done, not enjoyed. I have been so negative lately because of many things I don’t have to go into. There are just many things I’ve allowed to suck the life right out of me. There’s not the zest or feeling of anticipation that I once knew that jerked me up out of bed because I knew good was in store for me. I’ve turned “This is the day the Lord has made. Rejoice and be glad in it.” to “This is just another day and I’ve got to endure it.” I am so sorry I’ve not enjoyed each passing moment like God intended. I’m sorry I’ve skimmed relationships -- forgotten what’s important and what’s not. I’ve lost the big picture. I've seen the empty glass -- not God's firmament.
When Phil and I first arrived, Bella was asleep. But when David carried her outside, down the boardwalk to greet us, she yelled “Mammie, Pappaw!” “Mammie, Pappaw!” And the next two times she had to go inside and right back out again, each time I heard her yell the same thing to me, with the same intonation, with the same excitement in her voice. “Hi’, Mam-mie’.” “Hi’, Mam-mie’.” -- both times, like it was the first time. Bella’s haste was in anticipation of seeing me. My haste was for no good reason.
She wanted to be with me, she asked me the right question at just the right time, she made a difference in my life -- what I hope to be doing from now on, when I'm getting ice for someone else's tea.
It was a beautiful day in May with large, puffy clouds perched perfectly in the sky that intermittently covered a great big sun that shone brightly as the clouds eventually passed by -- at the pool, laying on a float in eighty-degree weather in eighty-degree water, family nearby – an American Gothic kind of day – and I was in a hurry. I was in a hurry and Bella brought it to my attention -- in a hurry to get ice for my tea.
Yes, children hurry, but not the type of hurrying I was doing. Theirs is more of an excitement, anticipation, because they see life as good; mine is more of a “skimming.” Lately I’ve seen life as a struggle – something that has to be done, not enjoyed. I have been so negative lately because of many things I don’t have to go into. There are just many things I’ve allowed to suck the life right out of me. There’s not the zest or feeling of anticipation that I once knew that jerked me up out of bed because I knew good was in store for me. I’ve turned “This is the day the Lord has made. Rejoice and be glad in it.” to “This is just another day and I’ve got to endure it.” I am so sorry I’ve not enjoyed each passing moment like God intended. I’m sorry I’ve skimmed relationships -- forgotten what’s important and what’s not. I’ve lost the big picture. I've seen the empty glass -- not God's firmament.
When Phil and I first arrived, Bella was asleep. But when David carried her outside, down the boardwalk to greet us, she yelled “Mammie, Pappaw!” “Mammie, Pappaw!” And the next two times she had to go inside and right back out again, each time I heard her yell the same thing to me, with the same intonation, with the same excitement in her voice. “Hi’, Mam-mie’.” “Hi’, Mam-mie’.” -- both times, like it was the first time. Bella’s haste was in anticipation of seeing me. My haste was for no good reason.
She wanted to be with me, she asked me the right question at just the right time, she made a difference in my life -- what I hope to be doing from now on, when I'm getting ice for someone else's tea.
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